My First Trimester

Feb 05, 2019 | By Christina

My First Trimester UpdateFree People Dress

I’m not going to lie, I’ve been putting off sharing a first trimester post. Why? I’m not entirely sure…every time I sat down to write or really reflect on everything I just found myself becoming upset. The last several months have not been easy for me, on an emotional level. I haven’t been very “with it”… I have found myself being somewhat of a grump and needing to talk myself out of it and for that I have felt very guilty. How could I feel like this? How could I give myself permission to feel like this? I’m growing a beautiful little human who I can’t wait to meet. I feel this is the best time in my life, so why can’t I enjoy it?

Well, my pregnancy didn’t initially start out this way. Let me rewind a bit. A few weeks ago I posted on IG stories asking what you guys were most interesting in hearing about regarding the first trimester, I did this to kind of kick start my writing over here. Thank you for that. Here’s what you guys seemed to be the most interested in….

First Trimester Diary(My first doctor appt after finding out we were pregnant!)

We were still living in the guesthouse when I found out I was pregnant and thankfully there weren’t any morning trips of me hopping over the pull out sofa, running to the bathroom. Thankfully I didn’t experience any morning sickness throughout this entire pregnancy. However, I was pretty nauseous most mornings well into my second trimester, which made me not want to eat anything. At least getting a banana and some plain toast in my system did the trick and slowly but surely the nausea subsided.

I also began taking my prenatal vitamins at night to help with any nausea. I’m still doing so and it has really helped. For a while I was keeping a box of crackers on my nightstand at night just to fight off any uneasiness.

Skincare during my First TrimesterParachute Robe | Anthropologie Mirror

This is a big one! I’m going to do a separate post on it because my skin has been freaking out since eliminating certain skincare products out of my routine, but yes – the pregnancy acne is here guys and it’s real. Although, it didn’t really get too bad until about week 16, going into my second trimester. Go figure! Anyway, I have switched to such pure and natural products, and am still testing some out, so I want to give it time before I fully recommend anything to you guys. What have I cut out of my skincare routine? Anything with retinol, BP, and salicylic acid…even some essential oils. More to come!

My First Trimester JourneyCHANGE TO DIET? CRAVINGS?
One of the first things my doctor asked me was if I was having any food aversions, and my answer was “not really”. One day we were running errands and decided to stop for lunch at Flowerchild by us. I always get the Mother Earth bowl, but that day the ancient grains were just making me nauseous. I couldn’t stand the smell. Thankfully everything else has been fair game. I haven’t really switched up my diet all that much, which was something else I asked my doctor about. We only eat fish and occasionally chicken so I was nervous about getting enough protein, but she advised to just indulge in big PB&J sandwiches, full avocados, and incorporate salmon weekly into my diet. All things I love, so I was thankful for that.

Cravings haven’t really hit me…well at least not in the way I thought they would. You always see movies where it’s 10pm and a woman wants some crazy ice cream so her husband runs out to get it or weird combos like pickles and who knows what! I’m not saying it’s not true, but for me it didn’t happen. At least it wasn’t consistent food favorites. My weakness has been scrolling through IG or FB and seeing some amazing meal someone just posted and instantly wanting to eat exactly what they just posted…tacos, donuts, you name it.

I cut out caffeine all throughout my first trimester, which was fine for me. Most mornings I would have an herbal tea (approved by my doctor) or hot water with lemon, which always feels cozy to me.

New Darlings French Modern Living Room

Symptoms can be a pretty loose term, so I’m kind of grouping all the miscellaneous feelings into this. Some of you guys asked if I felt any cramping in the beginning and the answer is a big fat YES! My whole first trimester was that constant pulling and tugging feeling in my lower abdomen. Right after finding out we were pregnant, we had a work trip to Washington DC and each morning the cramps were pretty unbearable. I was so uncomfortable, but also nervous because I didn’t know what was normal to feel at that time. Well, if you’re experiencing it, it’s pretty normal. Just your good ‘ol uterus making room for your baby to grow. It’s so incredibly wild.

Was I tired? Oh yes m’am I sure was! It was so strange to not be able to just pick up and go like I was used to doing. We found out we were pregnant in the fall which is when we are gearing up for our busiest time of the year work wise and I was scared to go into the holiday season feeling so out of it. It was a big reason I didn’t tell anyone for a long time. I didn’t want anyone to tell me to take a break or slow down, because really I just go crazy when I have to do that. I love creating and that feeling of accomplishment after completing a big project. I thrive on it. Hey, a lot of it was my pride too, and if I dropped the ball on something I didn’t want anyone thinking it was because I couldn’t handle being pregnant. Crazy, I know, but that was my thought process. So I just tried to push through it and definitely slept in a bit later than usual, which is what my body needed. If you need to slow down or sleep later, or take a nap, thats ok – listen to your body. I felt super guilty canceling plans with friends before letting the cat out of the bag. I didn’t want to look flakey, but there were so many evenings I couldn’t imagine changing out of my sweats to head out to that double date, no matter how badly I wanted that pasta dish or laughs with friends.

Weight Gain During my First Trimester

(^^This photo was taken in November about a month after we found out we were expecting. Also when we moved back in our house, hence the bare bedroom. 😉 )

Weight Gain During my First Trimester

(^^One month later at Rob’s parents’ house on Christmas morning, with a little bump starting to pop out. I wore a big sweater over this skirt…I remember feeling like it looked like I was super bloated. Ha!)

18 Week Baby Bump

Other Stories Dress
(^^This is closer to how the bump is looking today…past the first trimester, but thought I’d show you guys anyway, as I didn’t take too many photos very early on.)

My doctor advised me to cut out all exercise during my first trimester. I wasn’t too excited about it because I really want to stay in shape during the pregnancy and do anything I could to help with a smooth delivery, but doctors orders. Just walking was allowed. I think that change in our routine made me even more tired, but it was nice to give my body a rest. We’re beginning to get back in the swing of things over here and being more active now that I’m in my second trimester, but I’ll save that for another post.

My Frist Trimester Journey

(^^Happy tears after one of our appointments!)

I left this one for last because I feel like it’s the biggest question and has a lot to do with why I started off my post the way I did. Thankfully I haven’t had any anxiety about the pregnancy or becoming a parent during the first trimester, which if you are having those thoughts and feelings, it’s completely normal. I basically felt them my entire life up until this point, and I’m sure as the pregnancy continues little doubts and nerves will pop into my head and heart.

For me, what has caused the most anxiety has been coming to terms with some very close personal relationships. Unfortunately this has caused me to miss out on days which could have been very joyous because I chose to concentrate on the negative. I chose to concentrate on the people in my life who have chosen to not be a part of it and share in this special time. I have never really thought about it until now because we have always been “go, go, go”. We were always traveling, which are memories I will cherish, but in some way by always experiencing something “new and exciting” I was able to bury many negative feelings and the emotional distance between my family and me. Things have never been perfect, but years of hurt of pain came to a head over the last few months. A good portion of November through January was a big rut for me and I think that’s putting it lightly. I found myself upset and confused with my family dynamic, then I found myself becoming upset about being upset during this time. I would get down on myself for letting the baby feel anything but happiness. I’m embarrassed to say that it was just recently that everything clicked. We are on our way to the best journey of all, creating our own little family together, surrounded by friends who are so incredible and shower us with so much love that I feel silly for not noticing it sooner.

When I received your DMs about our pregnancy announcement, your comments in response to when I opened up about becoming a mother and sharing how we found out I was pregnant, I was so genuinely overcome with love and joy. I was shocked to have been able to connect with you guys in this way. Please know we read all of your comments and emails and messages, and we are so grateful for each one. Some have helped me on some really hard days, and I thank you for that. I’m so excited for this journey, the next stage in our life and sharing more here with you guys. The first trimester was definitely a rollercoaster and I don’t expect this ride to slow down any time soon. For now, we are just enjoying this time, taking it day by day. I really want to enjoy being pregnant vs just waiting for baby to arrive, even though we’re counting down the days! 😉

17 comments on “My First Trimester”

  1. So beautifully put… it’s a funny old journey, pregnancy, and your honesty is great. I related to your comments about family. For some reason during my own pregnancy these issues took a hold of me too, I’m not sure why as I’ve always brushed these off in the past and been quite unaffected by what are really trivial issues, but I think when you’re bringing a new human into the world you try and resolve or find reason for things… I’m not sure, but I think things get heightened around those issues at this time. I found diary writing helped. Don’t beat yourself up for fretting about these things or the small stuff, it’s just how it goes…. you’ll be amazed how much it doesn’t matter when that new beauty enters your world! Good luck and thanks for sharing! 🙂

  2. Wow. I really loved this. Thank you for being so real and personal. My husband and I talk about having kids in the future and I’m always thinking of questions like these- especially questions about what it feels like in the beginning (physically). I’ve been following you guys for years now and I have loved watching your little family grow!!! So excited for this new chapter in your life. 🙂

  3. Hi!! Thank you for sharing!! You mentioned cramping in your 1st trimester. Did you feel cramping even before you found out you were pregnant? If so, did they feel very similar to menstrual cramps?

    Thank you!!

  4. I was in the same boat with you hun family wise! I have been estranged from my mother over the last few years and it caused me a lot of pain during my pregnancy not being able to share it with her. But! After my son was born in November, being his mom has been incredibly healing for me. I hope that it will be for you too 💕

  5. Blessings to you and Robert on this new journey! And thank you for being so open and vulnerable – it helps me navigate my first trimester and know that I’m not alone in the things I’m experiencing.

  6. Aww sweet mama, I’m sorry for your hurt and pain at such a special time in your life from your family. That’s heartbreaking. Who knows why people act the way they do. Some people are hurt and bitter themselves and can’t let go of the past. They are unable to forgive each other for past hurts and function as a family. I pray that somehow this baby will draw you together. With God all things are possible. May the Lord bless you and keep you and may He heal your pain. May your new family be blessed abundantly!

  7. Thank you to you both for opening up about your pregnancy roller coaster. After years of trying, recurrent miscarriages, and many fertility treatments, I gave birth to the most wonderful baby last Spring. When I was pregnant, I was terrified of losing the baby, but also so, so elated. The majority of people who knew I was pregnant would say comments like “Oh, just you wait…” (negatively), and “Enjoy your sleep now, because you will never sleep again!” And those were the more positive of the bunch. It bummed me out so much that everyone around me seemed to view being a parent as such a burden. One colleague took me aside one day and said, “Don’t listen to the noise. When you are up at night, exhausted, and rocking your baby, you won’t care that you haven’t slept; that time is so, so special, and you will love it.” And she was right. Am I tired? Sure! Are there trying times? Yep. But I could not be more in love with my little girl, and everything she has given us.

    Good for you for choosing to not listen to the “noise”. Enjoy this time!

    1. Jessica – I also had that experience during the pregnancy, where people seem to relish saying negative things like “just you wait” and “enjoy your sleep now!” It’s SUCH a weird impulse to drag down the joy of an expectant mother. I guess all we can do is remember not to be that way to other women in the future. I’m glad that you’re enjoying motherhood now!

  8. I’ve been following you guys from the very beginning; I’ve always admired you guys for being so honest and real. This is a beautiful post, and like someone else comment, once that baby enters your world nothing else matters! Enjoy every moment of your pregnancy! Can’t wait to see this little baby!

  9. You guys are going to be amazing parents, and I’m so excited to watch you fall in love with your precious human!! I can relate with the family ‘stuff’, but One of the most healing things for me, was becoming the parent I always wished I’d had. I know I’m a better parent for it, so in the end, I came out on top. And so will your babe. And that’s the epitome of parental sacrifice. Love you both!! Xo

  10. Hey!

    First off congrats on the bub, it’s a pretty life altering experience… I always say to new parents, “welcome to the love of all loves!” – because it is just that and will intensify every bit of love you feel for every person you feel it for ♥

    I came across this little slice of heaven when searching bloggers in Arizona (we are emigrating from South Africa) so I could learn as much as could from folks who actually live there, not just generic Wikipedia – so thanks a stack!

    I am so sorry about the sadness… but it’s natural. I have a pretty loving, tight knit family (not without their BS) but there is some past history with my step-dad that made me ask my mother how she could put us through all that, because you can bet if it was me, I would have walked and never allowed my daughter to live that through that hell. She has always, and still does, have a mountain of excuses, excuses for her excuses. What I’ve come to realize is that our parents are human beings and as kids we tend to put them on a pedestal – becoming a mom smashed it all for me and I now see their flaws in technicolor, but I love them all the same – even more because I really do understand how deep these waters run. They did their best and sometimes failed and that’s okay because it taught me what kind of momma I want to strive to be. Of course I don’t know you or you family but 2 pieces of valuable advice that have stuck with me are:

    1. This too, shall pass – life is fleeting and we have to embrace the good and the bad, feel your feels and soon it all will have passed and you will find yourself in a new season. Life is pain, life is change and in between are all those lie the sweet little moments that make it all worth while.

    2. You are not responsible for other people actions and reactions, only yours.

    Sending love and happy vibes from the other-side of the world!

  11. Hi Christina, it’s so brave of you to open up like this. I want to let you know you are not alone. During my first pregnancy our family dynamics changed too, due to my mother’s illness. During my 2nd pregnancy she passed away. It is normal to have these feelings and you’ll find a way to enjoy your pregnancy. I look back at two pregancies I enjoyed, eventhough the going was tough. When your baby is born, you get to create your own way of dealing with things and all can be bend to the positive. I wish you and Rob all the best.

  12. I’ve been following you guys for so long and I’m so excited that you guys are expanding your little family. I can’t wait to see you guys transition into parents I know it’s going to be so lovely. Ya’ll are going to rock being parents!

    Juliana | Ohhjuliana

  13. Having a baby, and becoming a parent sometimes can help you make peace with your parents and childhood like nothing else can. It’s a brand new start, a brand new family. Congrats!

  14. Congrats on your pregnancy! I’m pregnant too, just finishing up my first trimester, so it sounds like we have a similar due date! (Although this is my second time around.)
    Please don’t put so much pressure on yourself that this should be the “happiest time of your life” and that you shouldn’t “let the baby feel anything but happiness.” It’s just too much pressure! This is real life and it’s ok to let yourself feel real. Pregnancy isn’t easy, cut yourself some slack, your baby will be ok!

  15. I’m so sorry to hear there have been some family struggles for you. I know all too well how that feels. But it’s so important to stay true to who you are & if others can’t understand that & be there for you, how can you be there for them? All you can do is give all that energy & love to that sweet baby & family you are creating.

  16. I’ve been a reader of y’alls for a while. When you originally posted this I read it and was happy for you. Honestly, I didn’t let any of this information soak in. Like in your anxiety section, my first pregnancy was me not allowing myself to be joyful. I enjoyed your post but couldn’t relate to anything else given my life circumstance (actually rereading the post I think I was just bitter haha.) Now, I’m rereading this because I need camaraderie. I’m pregnant, happy ,and with a partner who is supportive and cares. The point is, thank you for writing this, and I don’t think you can fully understand how your honesty can help your readers.

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