Should Age Define Your Stage In Life?

Sep 05, 2018 | By Robert

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I used to always use the age of 25 as “full-time adult”. As if that would be the age that I would have it all together. Then I turned 25 and quickly moved that age to 30. Ha! That’s not to say that I didn’t have it together when I was 25, but not to the extent I thought I would. Christina and I got married when I was 26 (she was 25). We soon after moved to Phoenix and started our lives as a married couple here in the desert. So, to some, it may appear that I did in fact have my life together in my mid twenties, but it wasn’t until I turned 30 that it hit me.

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Turning 30 was interesting. For one, it was the day we moved into our house. What is more adult than buying your first house? I’m not sure, but if it’s the most adult thing you can do, then my 30th birthday was the day I “had it all together”. I was the “full-time adult” I thought I would’ve been at 25. More importantly though, it was the first year I felt comfortable to be the age I was. I feared turning 30. It was a scary sounding age, but when it happened, I felt calm. I knew it couldn’t be altered or retracted, so I embraced it with open arms. It felt good to look back on my twenties and feel that I’ve learned a thing or two about myself. I felt like I actually had some tools to use moving forward. I remember sitting on the living room floor of our new home, Christina brought out my favorite chocolate cake with the “3” and “0” candles lit, Henry cuddled by our laps, and there was no other place in the world I wanted to be.

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So here I am almost two years later. I’ll be 32 in November, and I wonder what I’ve learned? Do I really have it all together? I don’t know if I do or if anyone does, but I can tell you with confidence that I feel good with where I am at in my life. I’m comfortable in my own skin, and I’m having a much easier time living in the present rather than looking at an age in the future in hopes that that version of me will have the answers I’m currently looking for. Setting goals is definitely important, but it’s all the learning that happens along the way that really make the difference. I don’t know if by 40 my life will match up with my dreams, but I hope I look back at these current years and realize I’ve picked up a lot of new tips and tricks for the future.


9 comments on “Should Age Define Your Stage In Life?”

  1. I feel like we are all too busy to think about in what age we should be that or that but in the end (and deep down, we all know it), it doesn’t happen the same way we thought it would. I guess the most important thing is to feel good, not matter what stage we are in our life. There is not trigger above our head if we don’t accomplish that thing we want before 25 or 30. I’m not sure if it all make sense.
    Anyway, I really like this post and your opinion on this, really interesting.


  2. I started feeling comfortable in my own skin after my 30’s. It’s like something switched inside me and started looking for quality things, “throw away” people and things that was not making me feel good and decided to save money for traveling . And that was the best investment I have ever done!☺️ I am really looking forward for my 40’s!✌️

  3. This post resonated with me on a personal level. I just turned 30 last month and it was an oddly calming experience. Turning 30 felt daunting, scary, and “old” for most of my early 20s. We have this invisible expectation that we’re meant to have hit so many societal “goal” markers especially within ourselves but truly we all get there when we’re meant to.
    I feel so much more focused, aware, and driven now than I ever was in the beginning of my 20s. Cheers to being 30, I hear it’s the new 20s. 😉

  4. I have always wondered at what age I will finally feel like I have it all together. I will be 38 this December, I’ve been married and divorced, and I have three daughters. I surely thought by the time my first child became a teen that I’d definitely have it all in order. She will be 16 soon and nope! Haha! I’ve begun to realize almost all of us feel the same way.

  5. Enjoy your 30’s. My husband and I got married when I was 29 and her was 34. Our 30’s were so much fun. Embrace it and enjoy every minute. I turned 40 this year. *gulp* sometimes I look at my life and think I should be more “adult” lol. I wonder if that ever goes away? Lol.

  6. I really do believe that age is just a number. We can’t control the future and just because you don’t accomplish something by the age you thought you would doesn’t mean it isn’t in the cards. Cory turns 32 in November too! I think it seems like a mighty fine age 👌🏻

  7. It can be easy to get caught up in the ‘having it all together’ paradigm, but it is just that – a paradigm, a societal concept – ingrained in us from a young age.. And age plays a role too, the race to meet the ‘milestones’ of acceptable acquisitions; mortgage by 25, married with children by 30, blah, blah, blah…

    Personally, I was always rushing in my 20’s, rushing to fulfill this ideology… then something changed in me when I turned 30. It was as if life became clearer, not overnight, mind you, but during that year… A kind of zen took over me as I removed myself from toxic ‘friendships’ and refocused on my young family, my loved ones and being true to myself and my creativity. The paradigm no longer weighs me down, I have no desire to entertain it any longer – life is too fleeting, and full of too many other things that require my attention, thing more meaningful!
    I can say now – 8 years later – that the clarity continues; the desire to be true to yourself and your loved ones. It’s invigorating, it’s powerful, it’s peaceful – it’s living intentionally at its finest!

  8. The meditation of an aging man here. To answer the question proposed, age is part and parcel of the inevitability of time whilst circumstances define where you are in your life.

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