Making Time For Yourself as a Mom
The word “selfish” has been in my vocabulary a lot since becoming a mom, and after a few conversations with other moms, I realized I’m not alone. For a long time, since having Oliver, anything I would do for myself that didn’t benefit him, my marriage or work, I would view as selfish. As women, we need to erase this word from our thought process. We need to erase the notion that anything we may do to benefit our own mental health and bring us happiness and peace outside of being a mother, is selfish, because it’s not. It’s important to value ourselves and our time. When we nourish our own bodies, minds and spirits, we become more whole, more present mothers and more in-tune partners. I’m very slowly learning this and making sure I stay present each day and not let my mind wander. Now over a year since Oliver’s birth, I’m realizing how important it is to take care of myself each day. This doesn’t have to be anything crazy or grand. I’m not talking about a spa day at a hotel…if that’s your thing – great, but I’m not thinking that big. I’m talking about small acts that make us feel fulfilled. What are small things you do for yourself that make you feel good? Here are a few things I make sure I do for myself, especially now, as a mom.
PRIORITIZE SELF CARE
Every night, after I put Oliver to bed, I make sure I take some time and do my skincare routine. It’s just a few minutes, but it’s something I enjoy doing. I love learning about new skincare products and especially as I get older, I enjoy learning how to take care of myself in a natural and safe way. Over the last few months, I have introduced a few serums into my skincare routine, particularly iS Clinical’s Active Serum. It’s been nice to see my skin healthier looking and more dewy, especially in this intense Arizona heat lately. I also make it a point to get dressed every day. If you’re a stay at home mom or a work from home mom or both, it might feel hard to keep any structure. Sticking to a routine and getting ready each day helps me feel motivated to take on the day. There’s something about a morning ritual and “putting myself together”, that makes me feel fresh and ready to take on my to-do list. Check out my loungewear video for some comfy ideas, too.
CONNECT WITH OTHER MOMS + PARENTS AND LET IT OUT!
It’s okay to want a few extra minutes of sleep or maybe you’re not really into reading that book for the 20th time this week, no matter how much you love your little ones. It’s okay. You’re human and wanting a breather is normal, even if you end up staring at photos of your kids on that break. Ha! Right now, it’s hard to have a social life with the pandemic, and I can’t wait to have social gatherings with friends and babies again, but there are other ways we can connect. Getting a text chain going with some other mom friends has been so helpful since becoming a mom. Also – connecting with so many of you through Instagram DMs has been amazing and so helpful! So often we feel alone in these feelings and guilt sets in. More often than not, I feel better after talking to some friends.
Rob and I decided early on that everything we would do in this life together would be a partnership, with equal responsibility. That’s just what works for us and everyone’s situation and preference and role in a relationship is different, but taking a few things off your plate (mom or dad) can be so helpful. Tending to the house and having things in order is one of my own neurotic tendendancies and is how I grew up. Everything always had to be “just right”. I took a lot of those same patterns into my adult life, which has both positives and negatives. Sundays were always our deep cleaning day. I’m learning now with a kid, sometimes everything doesn’t get taken off the shelves and dusted before vacuuming and then before mopping the way I would always like. Whether it’s the weekend or a day mid-week, make sure you have that “off time”. I know everyone’s situation is so different, but pulling back and worrying less about house work has been huge for my anxiety. Oliver also likes to join in with chores, i.e. laundry, wiping up spills, sweeping things up. It takes longer, but it’s definitely a bonding moment and guess what? It still gets done. Reminding myself that I don’t have to do it all and can relax without certain expectations I’ve put on myself is an ever-evolving journey. The more I let go, the better I definitely feel.
Sezane Carlie Dress
Have Uninterrupted Time Just for Yourself
You’re probably thinking… How do I do that? When? During Oliver’s naps is when we get a lot of work done, and truthfully sometimes at night after he’s in bed too, but taking 30 mins with no work or talking or other responsibilities to read or write, has been game changing. When I have this quiet time, I feel more prepared and clear headed. You need this time to recharge in whatever form that may look like. Maybe it’s taking a hike, or a bath, or maybe even organizing your closet in peace. Whatever it is, don’t feel guilty taking that time for yourself — it shouldn’t be looked at as a luxury or selfish. It’s a huge part of being a good mom.
*More parenthood posts HERE.